The Family

I typically refer to my family as “The Family.” I realize this makes us sound like mafioso (we’re not. I don’t think. We don’t have nearly enough money or fedoras for that) but it’s really the only expression that works. My friends have started doing it, too – “Oh no she didn’t! What did The Family think about that?” It’s made me realize what a freakish unit we are.

When something happens, it effects all of us. Stories spread through The Family very quickly. For instance, on Christmas when my Great Aunt said something horrific to my cousin’s new fiance, she was being confronted by my grandmother and The Family knew all about it before she was even finished uttering the words.

When that same fiance started turning my cousin into someone he is most certainly not and turning him against The Family, she became good as dead to us. When my uncle’s girlfriend went crazy a couple years ago and upset The Family – done. It seems like we’ve had a lot of relationship issues within The Family lately – boyfriends and girlfriends not meeting our strict approval. Through every knew instance of disapproval, my boyfriend gets a little more smug.

“They still love me! Your great aunt has never made me cry!”

“They do love you, but they’d love you more with a college degree. They talk about that all the time.”

“At least they’re still talking about me. When was the last time anyone mentioned your uncle’s crazy girlfriend?”


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