Scene: Friday night dinner at my grandparent’s
Players: Mom, Grammy, Grampy, Aunt, Uncle, Myself, Boyfriend
Background: My family all talks at once, usually we’re pretty good at keeping up with multiple conversations, but not always.
. . . .
Grammy: “I was watching the news the other day, and they were saying how it got so cold in Florida that one of the zoos had to take all the butterflies in the butterfly exhibit and move them inside to a warm place. The butterflies would have frozen!”
Me: “Wow, someone went out there and plucked each individual butterfly?”
Mom: “What if they missed one?”
Group in General: “Yeah, what if they missed one?” “Who wants to see butterflies at a zoo?” “Can butterflies freeze? And get frozen solid?” etc., etc.
Grammy: continuing “…and then they showed a chimpanzee putting on a sweater! He was putting on the sweater all by himself, just pulled the sweater right on!”
Aunt: “A butterfly put on a sweater?!”
Boyfriend: “What does a butterfly sweater look like?!”
Myself, Uncle, Mother (who heard Grammy move on to the chimpanzee story): hysterical laughter, choking on beverages, etc.
Grammy: ‘No! The monkey! The monkey! Of course a butterfly didn’t put on a sweater!”
Aunt: “I was gonna say! Those delicate wings!”
Boyfriend: “No, really, what would a butterfly sweater even look like?”
Aunt: “It would need wing holes! Wing sleeves!”
Me: “Oh my God, why is this my life? Butterfly sweaters?! Seriously people.”
Grammy: “No one ever listens to me.”