Category Archives: Journaling

Inside My Brain: Baby Registry

The following thought process was brought to you by the above. I was browsing on Amazon and said “Yes, I am a classy broad, I will put this on my wish list!” That’s when I noticed the ADD TO BABY REGISTRY button below that.

Begin thought process:

Add to baby registry? Is that new? When did that happen? Maybe they added it when they re-vamped their site a couple days ago. Or maybe not! Why isn’t there a wedding registry button, why just babies? Does Amazon know something I don’t? Oh my God, what’s that commercial? The one where that thing can predict whether you’re pregnant five days before a missed period? Was it an Amazon commercial? This isn’t a baby item! Why is Amazon asking me if I want this book for my unborn child? Maybe this is a sign. My child is going to be SO FREAKING CLASSY. Unsurprising. Look at it’s mother.

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It’s that time of year again. Engagement Season. I don’t know what it is about the holidays, but once you reach your 20s suddenly all winter long people are popping the question. My Facebook newsfeed is riddled with pictures of diamond rings and happy couples, and every day I hear a new “Oh, did you hear? So-and-so got engaged!” story. Most recently was my cousin, who has known his new fiance for less than two months.  That one stung for a second, until I realized how completey insane it is for a 25 year old to be proposing to someone he’s known for less than two months.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for ten years. Yes, you read that right – ten years. Since I was fifteen. Do I have a ring on my finger? No. Am I upset about this? Not anymore. I definitely used to be – it caused a pretty nasty and devastating breakup a few months ago, at our ten month anniversary, when I did not receive the ring I had been expecting (and had already picked out and given him the details of).

That breakup and all the “state of our relationship” talks that came after it was a big eye opener. It made me realize that I wanted to be engaged because so many other people were already there, and I felt like I deserved it more. I mean, ten years, people. Never mind that year nine of our relationship hadn’t been stellar – a ring would fix that. Never mind that my boyfriend wasn’t ready to be engaged – he’d warm up to the idea once he saw how nice that ring looked on my finger. I shouldn’t have even been surprised when our ten year anniversary came and went without a ring – without even a celebration. I was trying to make our relationship into something it just was not, and would never be. Did this mean we shouldn’t be together? Was our relationship doomed to always fail? I thought so, at first.

Then I thought about why I felt we should be getting engaged in the first place – because it was what people were expecting. It was what I was expecting. Did I really care if we got engaged? Not really. I don’t even love the idea of having a wedding. We both still want to be together, and both still want to get married, so does it really matter when we get engaged? I know it will happen when the time is right for both of us, and I know it will be a complete surprise, and what girl doesn’t want her proposal to be a complete surprise? In the meantime, I’ll enjoy the relationship we have right now.   Because really, when you get engaged, wouldn’t you rather people were saying “Finally!” than “Already?!”

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The Great Purge

I’ve been doing a deep cleaning of my room lately. My life feels so unorganized right now and I don’t even know where to start making it better, but my room? My room is easy in comparison. Plus, it somehow soothes my anxiety-ridden mind to come home after yet another stressful day at work and just be able to project some order on something.

It’s been a really rewarding experience. There is nothing like opening a newly organized sock drawer and being able to locate the exact pair of socks you wanted. It’s a great feeling. I’ve gotten rid of a ton of stuff, both to trash and to donate or sell. I still have quite a ways to go, but I am happy with my progress.

Anyway, I’ve come across quite a few things that have survived many previous purges because I can’t bear to get rid of them. This time was no different. I think we all have some random crap that we totally don’t need but feel like we should hang on to. Here are some of mine:

  • Graduation cap – We got to keep our high school graduation cap and gown, for reasons unknown. What the hell am I going to do with this? I have no idea where the gown is, but I still have the cap, taking up space in my closet. Maybe I’ll frame it like a tiny, sad version of that collage the Cullen’s made.
  • Room keys for various hotels – I did finally manage to let go of these, though it was surprisingly difficult. They’re all attached to a memory and make me warm and fuzzy when I look at them.
  • Tamagotchi – Yes, I still have mine, though sadly it no longer works. I’m not sure I’d want it to. Looking back, I don’t see the appeal. And it turns out they still make them! I can’t get rid of it though. I can show my kids someday and they’ll probably be all “WTF is that, Mom?” and zip off with their jet packs or something. It will be like that doll my mom used to have that my grandmother kept – it’s head was attached via a string, and when you pulled the head off, it would slowly zip back down to the body while saying things like “Here comes my booodddyyy!”
  • Pay stubs – Like, every one I’ve ever received. They always seemed important to keep but today I decided they are not, so into the shredder they all went. It was very satisfying, somehow.
  • Magazine pages – I ripped a shit-ton of pages out of magazines. Did I think Future Me was going to go back and read these? Because she didn’t. She threw them in the trash.
  • A pocket IQ test – You never know when you may need to prove your intelligence on the fly.

And I’ve only done maybe one quarter of my room. I figure when I finally move out in the spring I’ll only be taking the absolute necessities with me. Like the Tamagotchi and pocket IQ test.

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